Head
Strong | The joy of simple messages
Michael
Smerconish
12.23.07
Christmas
cards and family updates may seem hokey, but they honor a year of triumph,
love, loss and life.
By
Michael Smerconish
Some annual rituals trigger
a gut check. They are our placeholders, our means of measurement outside of the
same marked-up calendars with the same symmetrical boxes year after year.
Sending and receiving Christmas cards is one such ritual for me.
Christmas cards are a big
deal in my house. We like sending a family card, and we relish receiving them
from friends. Each year we invest significant time in deciding what our card
will look like. And when - like this year - we can't reach a consensus, we send
multiple cards and try to match the form of greeting to the recipients'
personalities.
Last summer, our kids risked
life and limb re-creating the Beatles' famous walk across Abbey Lane. Angry
Brits beeped their horns and yelled, "Yank, go home!" as our three
sons and one daughter stood in the crosswalk while my wife and I framed the
digital image. I love the resulting picture and had it matched with a holiday
message, "Come Together" - the title, you'll recall of the first song
on Side A of the album Abbey Road.
But when I shared the story of the photo shoot on the radio, my wife said I'd
spoiled it, hence our lack of consensus.
This year, we have three
cards we send out, matching card to personality. While I'm partial to Abbey
Road, my wife favors a more traditional shot from a different leg of the summer
trip, with a 16th-century castle as a backdrop. Then there's our third
selection. Last year, Signe Wilkinson, the political cartoonist from the Daily
News, drew my head wrapped in Christmas lights and sent it to me in a
personalized card. I loved it so much I got her permission to use it as my own,
which I have (after convincing Kinko's there were no copyright issues). Those
are our three cards.
Perhaps you're thinking this
a bit bizarre. Lately I encounter many people who find Christmas cards hokey or
outdated. They have problems with one version, much less three different ones.
Not me. I even like the
annual family newsletters folks send out. I want to see the family picture. And
learn who made the honor roll. I'm interested in where you went down the Shore.
And I'm intrigued by who blankets their mailing list with a generic "Happy
Holidays" vs. those bold enough to wish an outright "Merry
Christmas."
Every year, a lawyer friend
named Paul Lauricella works for weeks to develop a homemade, yet high-tech Christmas
card - always with a liberal political message.
In years past, he's imagined
an election for a new Santa Claus (Cheney Claus promised "frightened
gullible children that they will be 'hit hard' if one of the other Santas is
chosen") and featured a Santa equipped with toys of mass destruction. I
seldom agree with what he has to say. But I love getting his card.
And it's not just the
entertainment value I look forward to. For me, Christmas cards are a way to sit
back and take stock of another year. If you look closely, the good, the bad and
the ugly are all in the cards.
As is our routine, I printed
our address list a few weeks ago and left it for my wife's perusal. There were
many changes from last year. The older we get, the more entries we must alter
for the two D's: divorce and death.
Divorce is a tough call. Do
you send a card to him or her? Neither? Both? What if you were never as close
to her, but she has custody of the kids and you want them to know you're
thinking of them? It's a Larry David Holiday Special waiting to happen.
Dealing with the deaths is
always difficult. My Rolodex is filled with individuals who have long since
passed but whose names I can't bear to remove. Frank L. Rizzo is still on my
list. Herb Barness. Russell Byers. Thacher Longstreth. Jay Waldman. And my
legal mentor, James Beasley. It's not that I'd forget them if I removed them
from my list. Maybe I just look forward to the opportunity to remember them
– a chance I know I'll have around this time every year. This year, my
maternal grandmother, Victoria Grovich, joined that list. Still, I refuse to
take Nanny's name away. Same with a World War II vet named Don Daly. We just
lost him.
When my wife returned our
list to me this year, there were other notations that summed up the year in
review, such as "moved," "on the outs," and my personal
favorite, "indicted/prison." Yes, as John Lennon sang, "Another
year older, and a new one just begun."
The ritual of the Christmas
cards carries this lesson: The status quo is often just fine. Most of us aren't
the baseball player or ballerina we'd dreamed we'd become as kids. And sure,
the in-laws may be a pain, and the car might be dented or wheezing. Six years
after the war in Iraq began, Osama bin Laden still taunts us, and the war
lumbers on without end or truth in sight.
Maybe you're not going
anywhere for the holidays. Not that going someplace tropical would help, since
you're not the 36 waist you used to be and your wife might never see a size 6,
8 or 10 again.
But if your family is alive
and together, you're in good shape - no matter what your waistline. So be
thankful. Because who knows what's in the cards for next year?
Michael Smerconish's column appears on Thursdays in The
Daily News and on Sundays in Currents. He can be heard from 5:30 to 9 a.m.
weekdays on "The Big Talker," WPHT-AM (1210). Contact him via the Web
at http://www.mastalk.com