The Muzzle Meter
More
and more celebrities are making boneheaded and off-color comments. Here's a way
to evaluate which of them are the most offensive.
'Why won't you defend Ann
Coulter?"
I've heard that several
times in the wake of her latest faux pas. Yes, I wrote a book about the perils
of political correctness, but that doesn't mean I'm for giving a free pass to
every celebrity who says something boneheaded. Especially when that list grows
daily.
For guidance, I've decided
to unveil the Muzzle Meter. It's my measuring stick for evaluating speech with
possible PC implications. A high score indicates speech that really is
offensive, no matter PC, and a low score means "Get over it." Like
golf, low scores are optimal. A "10" means the person needs to be muzzled;
a "0" means no harm, no foul.
My criteria are gut-based.
There's no science here. As Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart once said
about pornography: "I know it when I see it... "
Mel Gibson. The gold standard for those needing to be muzzled. I
mean, when I tie one on, I say stupid things. And when I was younger, they were
usually at closing time, and sounded something like "I lub you
longtime." But no rational person gets tanked and says: "F-ing
Jews... . The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." The man
has issues, particularly considering that his blood-alcohol level was a measly
0.12. That's too high to be operating heavy machinery, but insufficient to
transform someone into an anti-Semite. Muzzle Meter: 10.
Michael Richards. He was funnier as Kramer wearing the pimp jacket, or
saying things like "these pretzels are making me thirsty." Now it's
"He's a nigger! He's a nigger!" Too bad he didn't initiate a serious
conversation about black comics such as Chris Rock who uses the n-word as part
of their act. That would have been un-PC, but worthwhile. Instead, he's just
Mel Gibson doing stand-up. Muzzle Meter: 10.
Tim Hardaway. The former Miami Heat guard said he wouldn't have
wanted a gay player on his team. That's a bigoted, but presumably defensible
view. But this statement wasn't
defensible: "You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don't
like gay people, and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I
don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."
Give him points for not
spinning, but send him to the showers. This is self-defined hate speech, not
social commentary. Muzzle Meter: 10.
Ann Coulter. She thinks she's part of the very type of serious
debate she extinguishes. Criticizing the views of those who enter the political
fray is fair, but it was outrageous for her to say, about the wives of certain
9/11 victims, that she'd "never seen people enjoying their husbands'
deaths so much." Now she's blown it again. She essentially called John
Edwards a "faggot," presumably to make a joke about the TV star who
entered rehab after a similar line. Coulter's not funny, and her comments don't
inspire legitimate discussion. She's become a caricature of herself. Muzzle
Meter: 9.
Isaiah Washington. He is that star from Grey's Anatomy who called colleague T.R. Knight a
"faggot" during an on-set altercation, perhaps causing the outing of
Knight, and then went out of his way to repeat himself at the Golden Globe
awards while denying he ever used the word. Think Coulter without the hemline.
Muzzle Meter: 9.
Bill Maher. On Real Time, he said that fewer people would be dead if the assassination attempt
on Dick Cheney had been successful: "I'm just saying if he did die, other
people, more people would live. That's a fact."
Maher is a funny guy who
often proves there's truth in jest. But while it is OK for Americans to
criticize Cheney and the war, it's out of bounds to wish him dead. Maher says
he didn't. I think his words said otherwise. Muzzle Meter: 5.
Barack Obama and John
McCain. Obama: "We ended up
launching a war that should have never been authorized, and should never been
waged, and on which we have now spent $400 billion, and have seen over 3,000
lives of the bravest young Americans wasted."
McCain: "Americans are
very frustrated, and they have every right to be. We've wasted a lot of our
most precious treasure, which is American lives."
If the basis for invading
Iraq was unfounded, what are we to make of the loss of American life? That's a fair
question. Wasted was, however, a
poor word choice. Muzzle Meter: Obama 2, McCain 0. If anyone can say it, it's
this former POW.
John Kerry. The comment that cost him another run at the
presidency was just a poor attempt at humor by a politician so unfunny he
couldn't get a laugh when he was a guest on The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: "You know, education, if you make the most of
it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be
smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."
This was a dig at the
president, not at the troops. Muzzle Meter: 2.
Joe Biden. Speaking of Obama, Senator Joe said: "I mean,
you got the first mainstream African American who is articulate and bright and
clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man."
He was complimenting Obama.
How sad we've reached a point where one must apologize for such an obvious
accolade. Muzzle Meter: 0.
Michael Smerconish's column
appears on Thursdays in the Daily News and on Sundays in Currents. Michael can
be heard from 5:30 to 9 a.m. weekdays on "The Big Talker," WPHT-AM
(1210). Contact him via the Web at http://www.mastalk.com.