Head
Strong: Wii world: Safer to stay on the couch
2.24.2008
By Michael
Smerconish
My
wife and I are both nursing sports injuries. She has a sore right shoulder. I
have a bruise on my left thigh. Both came from playing tennis. Hers is
attributable to general exertion. Mine came from hitting the coffee table.
That's what we get for
playing "Wii Sports."
When I was growing up and my
father wanted to be part of our sports play, he had to toss a football or
baseball in the backyard. And sure, I do that with my kids. But I'm also
anxious to participate in the more current games of the day, which require a
level of tech savvy that has never come to me naturally.
I am one of those people who
has a VCR that has always blinked "12:00."
No surprise, then, that I'm
intimidated by modern video games. Maybe that's because I came of age watching
an amorphous blip bounce back and forth on a TV screen - the creatively titled
"Pong." "Pac-Man" and "Asteroids" didn't exactly
prepare me for the big leagues, either.
When I was growing up, our
house was always out of step with the advances. We bought a Betamax while the
rest of the country was going VHS.
Today, I can barely discern
the differences among PlayStation 2, Xbox and Xbox 360. Until recently, my role
was only to facilitate the return of Xbox 360 when it broke (and to witness the
impressive Microsoft operation dedicated to diagnosing and fixing the problem).
I still can't understand the
logic of Xbox 360's hand controls, which is why I'm an incompetent "Madden
NFL 07" player. I sit stymied by the logic of a controller with button
options such as A, B, X and Y.
Worse, while I study the
manual, my sons play without ever cracking the instructions. My reading reveals
only that to run with the young bucks, I must throw the ball by pushing
"X, A, B, Y or NB" (while not forgetting to tap the button for a lob
pass, or hold it for a bullet). Where is the rhyme or reason in that?
The one game I love is
"Guitar Hero." This high-tech form of air guitar is the ultimate
bonding experience in our house. Strumming along with "Slow Ride,"
"Crazy on You" and "Carry on Wayward Son" is a blast - one
bordering on addictive. But here again I am no match for my sons, who weren't
even born when I first heard Foghat, Heart and Kansas, respectively, play each
of those songs live at the Spectrum.
This brings me to Nintendo's
Wii, a video game system that, to say the least, requires you to get off the
sofa. Each player has a handheld remote control enabling interactive games such
as baseball, bowling and tennis. You have to move and exhibit some skill beyond
pushing buttons on a controller - an added incentive for couch-potato gamers
looking to burn calories.
I've heard about nursing
homes and physical-rehabilitation centers installing a Wii to help with
physical therapy. I even read recently that Prince William got one for
Christmas from his girlfriend, Kate Middleton, and that the future king already
had turned his grandmother, the queen, on to it.
She's probably the only
gamer I could take.
I used to think it obvious
that practice was the reason my sons could embarrass me at Xbox 360 and all
other things video. Now, I'm not so sure. Maybe there's something in the DNA of
people older than 25 that prevents us from being competitive. Either that or
they're teaching this stuff in school in place of arithmetic. From the moment
"Wii Sports" came out of the box, all three of my sons could crush me
in "Wii Tennis," even though we're no match in the real thing.
Sooner or later, I know
they'll abandon the Wii and end up in the backyard. But that day won't come
until somebody forgets to wear the hand strap and ends up accidentally throwing
the device through the TV screen.
Michael Smerconish's column
appears on Thursdays in the Daily News and on Sundays in Currents. He can be
heard from 5 to 9 a.m. weekdays on "The Big Talker," WPHT-AM (1210).
Contact him via the Web at http://www.mastalk.com.