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January 6, 2008

By Michael Smerconish

 

A few years ago, a friend named Anthony Mazzarelli gave me a subscription to Netflix, the online video-rental service, as a Christmas gift. At first I resisted, uncomfortable with the idea of renting DVD movies through the mail. But I soon concluded that Netflix is a model of efficiency, and never again will I drive to a store and wander around looking for a rental.

 

Now, every Christmas I look forward to Dr. Mazz's entirely predictable gift - a one-year extension of my Netflix account. In redeeming this year's coupon, it was necessary for me to access my account online and input a numerical gift code. When I did so, I was confronted with a complete listing of all of the movies I have ever rented from Netflix.

 

I immediately checked to see if anyone was looking over my shoulder. Besides Netflix, that is. What an eye-opener, and yet another example of how the computer advancement I have witnessed in my life has produced a slew of gadgets and shortcuts I'd hate to be without.

 

Each, however, comes with its own privacy caveats.

 

Judge Robert Bork learned this when he was nominated to the Supreme Court of the United States, only to have his video rentals become public. In that regard, at least, Bork came out scot-free. His movie list was mostly uneventful: A dozen Alfred Hitchcock movies, a few Bond films, and The Who's The Kids Are Alright. Soon after his list was made public, Congress passed the Video Privacy Protection Act.

 

My movie selections are a treasure trove of information - or perhaps misinformation - about my interests and predilections.

 

Like Bork's, my list begins innocuously: Live Free or Die Hard. The Hoax. Rescue Dawn. All good. All manly. No worries.

 

But then my rental list takes a political turn - some would say in the wrong direction. How could any self-respecting talk-show host who shares airwaves with the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity explain the presence of Michael Moore's Sicko? Worse, Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth?

 

And what exactly is Forgiving Dr. Mengele? Not to mention CSA: Confederate States of America? Together with the next entry - Lynyrd Skynyrd's Freebird . . . the Movie - it all seems evidentiary of some Southern-value fascination. All that's missing is a Strom Thurmond biography.

 

But the real trouble comes from this string: She Hate Me. Heading South. Inside Deep Throat. Happy Endings.

 

What if my wife were to see those entries? She'll think I cleaned out the closet of smokers when I vacated Lehigh's Zeta Psi house 20 years ago and have been holding on to them ever since.

 

And imagine her reaction at what follows: Brokeback Mountain.

 

Of course, I could counter by pointing out that I had also rented The Aristocrats, which sounds Junior League-ish and socially redeeming (even though nothing could be further from the truth).

 

As for Trekkies . . . I throw up my hands and wave the white flag.

 

My list no doubt says something about me. I hope it says I have an intellectual curiosity about all sorts of things (and am partial to documentaries about everything from the Nazis to porn).

 

Still, I imagine a shrink could have a field day with my Netflix list, which is worrisome because it could so easily be susceptible to mischaracterization. Which makes the Netflix list no different than my iPod menu or Internet affiliations. I'm partial to classic rock (how did that Barry Manilow get there?), and I favor newsmagazines (Why, then, the New Republic? Haven't you heard of opposition research?).

 

The computer-chip world in which we live has taken the notion of a paper trail to a whole new paperless dimension. Hansel and Gretel used bread crumbs. These days it's cookies - the computer kind.

 

I almost forgot my final Netflix rental: Spanglish. I don't remember anything about it, but it sounds like it was recommended to me by Joey Vento.

Michael Smerconish's column appears Thursdays in The Daily News and Sundays in Currents. He can be heard from 5:30 to 9 a.m. weekdays on "The Big Talker," WPHT-AM (1210). Contact him via the Web at http://www.mastalk.com.