CHRISTMAS? IT'S IN THE CARDS

December 14, 2006

Michael Smerconish

This is an update of a previous Smerconish holiday column favorite.

I LOVE Christmas cards, sending as much as receiving. And I know that a few days after I drop mine in the mail, I'll get a boatload back. Funny how that works.

I like seeing pictures of my friend's kids and charting their growth. I like noting who says "Season's Greetings" and who's willing to wish me a "Merry Christmas." I even like those goofy letters where people give you a rundown on everything from the summer trip to the shore to the kids' report cards. Sometimes I have no idea who sent them, but I still read them.

People mistake my religion and send me Hanukkah cards. I like them, too. In fact, I feel no need to correct anyone who offers me a "Happy Hanukkah," I just respond in kind. I hope my Jewish friends share my attitude, because my card this year does indeed say "Merry Christmas."

I have a friend, Paul Lauricella, who every year sends a sophisticated homemade holiday card with a liberal message. Last year, he listed the new candidates for Santa, including Miers Claus ("if chosen would be the second least qualified Santa in history, see Clarence Claus"), Scooter Claus ("whimsically monikered architect of Iraq war and future convicted perjurer"), Cheney Claus ("will ensure his selection by warning frightened gullible children that they will be 'hit hard' if one of the other Santas is chosen").

This year, he promises to address the war, Mark Foley, the election, Saddam's conviction, same-sex-marriage, the PS3 shortage, Kerry's botched joke and premature ejaculation ("although not in that order"). Sick. But I can't wait to get it.

The annual exchange of cards is also a reminder of type of year I've had. I'm thinking the two Ds: death and divorce. Thankfully, this year was another winner.

My address hasn't changed, neither has my wife's. No one in my immediate family died. I did lose Winston, my 16-year-old cocker spaniel, and will miss him on his birthday, which happened to be Christmas. In my column last year on this subject, I worried about his making it another year, but I was still unprepared for the loss.

We send out about 200 cards every year, and there are always a number of changes for couples who split, and folks who die. These seem to be growing, which makes addressing the envelopes a sobering experience. This year, like last, about a dozen recipients needed a change.

Divorce is tough. Do you send to the ex-wife, the ex-husband, both, neither? Maybe you never liked her, but she has the kids and you want them to know you're thinking of them. It's a Larry David episode waiting to happen.

Worse are the deaths. I'm losing more friends each year as I grow older. And my friends are losing parents. Sometimes I can't bring myself to take people off my list, so I don't. My Rolodex reflects that, too. It has the names of many people who are no longer living but whose names I just can't erase. Frank Rizzo is still on my list. Herb Barness. Russell Byers. Thacher Longstreth. Jay Waldman. And my legal mentor, James Beasley. I bet you have a similar list, at least in your head.

This year, I paused and gave thanks as I sent a card to my 100-year-old grandmother, who's been ailing. For years, she's been saying she's "had enough."

THERE ARE things we do annually that trigger a gut check. That make us stop and take stock of where we are. Maybe it's a visit the same beach every summer. Or the start of the school year. Sitting down for Thanksgiving.

Sending and receiving the Christmas cards is one of them for me. And here's the lesson: The status quo is often just fine.

Yeah, the job may be awful. The in-laws may be a pain in the butt. The car may have a dent. Bin Laden is still unaccounted for, and the Iraq war seems endless. You're not going anywhere for the holidays. You're no longer a 36 waist, and your wife will never again see a size 6, 8 or 10.

But if your family is alive and together, you've had a pretty good year. In the words of a great Philadelphian, Pat Croce:

Celebrate the moment!