IN 2009, I want to lengthen my fuse.
It's the same thing I wanted to do in 2008. And 2007. And 2006.
And no, it has nothing to do with erectile dysfunction.
Somewhere between 40 and 45 percent of American adults are spending this week in the first throes of their New Year's resolutions. Forgive them if New Year's Day felt a little more like Groundhog Day because most made the same resolutions last year. In my case, I want to blow my stack less this year.
Just when I was starting to think it's a losing battle, I consulted a man who has studied what works. John Norcross, a clinical psychologist from the University of Scranton, has tracked and studied hundreds of New Year's resolvers over 25 years. His findings surprised me: Contrary to the stigma of failure that seems to greet many of our fresh starts, 40 percent or so of those with resolutions will be successful after six months.
Another surprise: The difference between failed and successful resolutions has little to do with who makes them. Norcross says that gender, race and age have no bearing on success. Nor do the types of resolutions.
Instead it all comes back to the approach of the resolver. He suggests starting by limiting yourself to two realistic, attainable resolutions a year.
Why? Because there's only so much time and effort we can put into our New Year's resolutions. Then, he said, come up with a specific plan of action.
"Most people confuse a resolution with a wish. A resolution needs an action plan, and in this case, the healthy substitute to blowing your lid is calm, soothing self-talk," he told me.
I'm not sure. "Serenity now" doesn't seem like it'll get the job done.
My blood pressure cooks a couple of times a week. Like when it recently took my wife and me 25 minutes to get a glass of wine at a supposedly "hot" Center City restaurant - and we were seated at the bar! Or the day during Christmas break when a hotel wouldn't let me cancel a reservation I'd made an hour earlier.
Or when my radio producer plays the wrong piece of sound coming in or out of a commercial. Worse, when Wawa receives its shipment of the Daily News and Inquirer late, even though I see drivers from other routes stopping in for coffee.
In the past, I've been able to carry this resolution successfully through January. After that, the fuse gets lit. And it's hardly ever a slow burn.
Norcross suggests a strategy that includes rewarding yourself for successfully grappling with bad habits, or keeping a record of your progress as you work toward your goal. A food diary and an expense log are examples.
He also mentioned the importance of finding a co-conspirator for your resolutions. Social support - from a fellow resolver, family member, friend or co-worker - can help keep a resolution that has failed in the past.
Involving others gave me an idea of my own: Maybe we should let our friends and co-workers decide our New Year's resolutions for us. Think about it. Having a partner in crime strengthens our resolve when it comes to changing bad habits.
And those of us who go back to the same drawing board year after year should've realized by now that we're less than accountable to ourselves when it comes to these yearly resolutions.
So why not combine our desire for social support with the need for outside accountability?
No doubt husbands would be more inclined to stick with a diet if their wives suggest they lose a few pounds.
Employees are more likely to toe the company line if the boss is standing next to them.
And friends won't let friends fall off the wagon - especially if they're riding shotgun. After all, what happens when we speed past a cop aiming a radar gun? We hit the brakes.
In the meantime, I'm employing one of Norcross' other recommendations. He suggests making public declarations of commitment. Not a bad use of my first column of 2009, eh? *